I started as a fetus, living in my mother’s womb Grew into a girl, as I started to move 9 months go by, and I was soon born
My family felt lucky, my sister was proud She was no longer alone, had a sibling now There was four in a house, built for five Life continued on and we fell –a nose dive Started kindergarten while my dad was drinking a beer Mom had to take me, daddy was too drunk Oblivious as to why, just knew he couldn’t come They fell out of love and daddy was soaked in sorrow and rum My dad got a girlfriend who had a son He started to touch me and said it was fun Didn’t tell daddy, he was too drunk Didn’t tell mom, she was in a funk My life continued on I had a new title to my name a victim of a brother’s “love”, a victim of shame Daddy’s little girl grew up to fast 13 years old and started to crash Started to smoke, drink, run Lost my virginity, to a boy with a gun Went to parties with a hope to find love Looking in all the wrong places, only found thugs No longer a victim, but an addict too The names kept coming Became a scrooge Started to shoot up dope, owed the dealer I gave him my body and seethed Had older men on top of me doing all sorts of stuff
Some were soft and some were rough
I wanted out, he wouldn’t let me go He told me to shut the fuck up Before he puts a bullet in my head Still breathing, but I’m so fucking fed Up to here with this bullshit, feel so alone nobody wants me, but I still go home Got locked up for stealing a car For running away, and going too far Officially missing not heard of or seen Gone like the wind at the age of 15 Came back home not looking the same Very sick, with a lot of shame. Know I am more than what I think and more that what I was I am a sister, a daughter and someone’s love I am so many things, a complete diversity a criminal, a victim, a thief, a sister, a lover, a whore a daughter, a fighter. These words are my story You can read it as so As this is delivered, know I resisted Nevertheless – I persisted.